On Mother's Day...a Tribute to my Father

The other day, at a party, i heard a young girl talk about her parents where she mentioned that she had a "motherly-father" and a "fatherly-mother". It immediately struck a chord in me. The roles of father and mother are so pre-set in our minds, that a nurturing, caring and loving role is always assumed to be that of the mother's. While my mother is no less caring, loving or nurturing, my father was an equally involved parent all through our growing years and more inspite of being a very busy man professionally.

Today, when everyone is talking about their mothers, it's only appropriate for me to reminisce a little about my father. They say there's no love as unconditional as a mother's love. Being a mother myself, i know that to be the absolute truth. But, i would also like to add, there's no unconditional love like a father's too...for my father was no less than my mother and i celebrate both of them today...

It seems strange to my own ears and eyes that i have to refer to him in the past tense. And like i and my brother talk, we may not be able to see him today, but we know, for sure, he wouldn't let go of us, so easily...His invisible presence will continue to guide and mentor us all through our lives.

Here's a small attempt to pay tribute to a man, who was a father, a mother, a teacher, a friend, philosopher and guide, all rolled into one!

During my schooling days, he was my teacher-at-home, coaching me, helping me with my homework, clearing all doubts, making me learn...all in all a very patient and a very good teacher if there ever was one. In fact, when i wrote my Boards in the 10th std. the only way, i knew how to prepare was if he read out the answers to me! Couldn't ever imagine having the patience to sit there day after day reading out to a grown daughter, who would fall off to sleep if left alone to study! He could make even the most boring of Social Studies' lessons interesting, with anecdotes and stories...a quality that can't be taught in any teacher training programs, i'm sure. In fact, when i became a teacher years later, i would always ask myslef, how would my father have presented this lesson to the class. The things, we learn from our parents...

And the cycling lessons...how can i ever forget how he would run along side my cycle, so that i could overcome the fear of falling and learn the art of balancing! I was no child then, but quite a grown teenager! To think, that he didn't once show his exasperation at my timidity. That i finally learnt cycling, months later, is thanks to his tenacity and perseverance...and none to my efforts!

Graduating to the driving lessons! I remember the Standard Herald he had those days and the pride with which he maintained it, cleaning and polishing it every weekend. A ritual, i and my brother loved to participate in! And when i had just turned 16, he gave me my first lesson in driving. And it didn't just start matter-of-factly behind the wheel like most people's tend to do, but with the explanation of the car engine and how its various parts work. He passionately and patiently explained the workings of the car inside out. Next i learnt how to change the tyre...just in case, i landed with a punctured one ever! It was only then that i graduated to the driving seat, by which time, i was already very confident and felt i could handle it all myself. Whether it was a lesson in confidence too, i do not know! But armed with the knowledge, i sat in the driver's seat a lot more composed and confident... and i think i do drive ok, now!

My driving force and lifeline, Literature of course! Before i knew it myself, he knew that i loved the Arts and English Literature in particular. It was his foresight which saw me pursuing a Bacherlors, a Master's and eventually an M.Phil in the subject, i love so much. If i dabble a little in writing today, it's thanks to him. For had he not enrolled me in a B.A. English course, i would have missed out on one of the most important driving forces in my life today. At a time, when only Science was an option for a student worth his/her salt, he was brave enough to steer away from the conventional thinking of his counterparts and put me on a path i loved.

It would be impossible to recount all that he has done for me and my brother and confine it to mere words and blog-posts, but i couldn't help myself today.

Not sure, if he would have approved of such sentimentality...in any case...

To a father who was no less than any mother...how can we ever stop missing you...