Old Wine in a New Bottle!

Sometimes for days and weeks and even months on end, creativity just doesn't flow as it should. So, I re-visit old articles I've written in the past to get inspired and motivate myself to write.  Somehow, that whole process usually backfires and I mull over how terribly I've written an article or how I should have used a different word or phrase.  But I thrive on this self-flogging because in the end, it does nudge me to write...hoping to do a somewhat better job! 

And then there's today, like yesterday and the day before, where my mind just draws a blank and I tell myself that maybe I should no longer attempt to write at all.  In the midst of such internal trauma and drama, I get a message from a friend out of the blue, asking if I've written anything lately and that just pushes me into more despondency, as if that were even possible! 

So, I hit upon a brilliant idea, why not publish articles that were already published elsewhere.  I wrote those myself and this is a personal blog, so, I'm sure I'm not infringing on any copyright issues.  (May have to clarify this with my Intellectual Property Rights Lawyer/daughter).  

But for now, this old article which in fact, I realize, is a rehashed version of an older article finds place here.  There's irony right there, an old rehashed and published piece, getting a platform yet again! So, here goes:

Forever 21!

For most of us in our 40s and 50s the realization of our actual physical age comes as a rude jolt on a seemingly mundane day when we least expect it.   To me, this subtle-as-a-sledgehammer reminder came when I tried lifting one of the ubiquitous black boxes as I packed  for the umpteenth time.  My back initially groaned, creaked and like a rebellious dog on a leash just jerked and went stubbornly still and refused to budge! My spirit however wouldn’t succumb to such antics and I shrugged it off painfully, as a slight misadventure! 

All the gentle reminders about my age and how i must no longer attempt the things i once did when i was younger continued to fall on deaf ears.  Who cares?! In my mind and spirit I didn't age. While I was still stuck in a mental age of 30 something or maybe even 20 something, my body was surely and steadily gaining momentum and moving towards the 50s. The dichotomy of it all, “Hey, I am a “20  something” being dragged by a “nudging 50 body” didn’t seem right at all. 

It seems that I and the world around me are existing in parallel universes.  While I remained oblivious to my age, everything around me was changing…and changing so subtly that I never ever realized it. 

Like, one fine day, you move places and go to a new station with the husband and there you realize your name has changed overnight as it were, to Mrs. So and so. Subtle changes these. One is shocked at first of course and the spouse tells you that the others may get more comfortable about the first name-business with time. So, you take it in your stride and walk jauntily into the next party and go about re-introducing yourself by your first name. The others meanwhile continue to overlook  it  in a polite and embarrassed manner. Slowly, you get to hear that a saree you wore reminds them of a similar one their mother had or that something you had said was exactly what their mother would have said. While, here you were trying to have a one-on-one connection with the younger ladies, they are looking at you as a mother-figure.  Flattering of course, as long as the age-issue doesn't raise its dubious head!

Of course the inner voice is way stronger and way younger. So,  on it goes. Like the other day a friend and i met at a cafe to catch up. A bunch of young millenials took over the next table  and we couldn't but help overhear their loud conversations. "The  party was so lit man.  You missed it! Reena was looking savage in that dress." Another voice joined in, " She totally killed it ya. Could legit see the envy in Pari's looks"   My friend and I gave each other uncomfortable smiles. The words of course all sound familiar, but we had to only infer the meaning from the context. Had no idea when the words we grew up with came to mean something totally new. What am I missing here? Like, the other day I came across the word ‘bae’ and was racking my brains to understand its meaning when my daughter told me that in fact, it was an abbreviation for ‘before anyone else’.  Really?! What ?!  I thought I was quite updated and knew all the right words and lingua of the day, but everyday, the youngsters are coming up with words and phrases and  stuff that  seems impossible for people like me to keep up.  That feeling of becoming old gnaws again!

When I turned to my old friends(Ouch! Pun un-intended!) for comfort they agreed with me. None of us felt older than we did in our 20s or 30s and we definitely did not feel  "middle aged"!   Well, the white hair is in vogue right, and the wrinkles are just laugh lines and an assertion of a life well loved right?! While all around me there were subtle and not so subtle hints about my age, I want to scream "Hey, I'm the same, I'm not old, I'm no different than what I was!"  But something holds me back...maybe my new found wisdom! I shrug off the doubts and tell myself, “Chill ya, it's all cool! In my heart, I’ll be forever 21!