Meeting Myself

In Life's long journey, amidst myriad experiences, we tend to forget who we were at different phases of our Lives…versions of us that we may not even remember anymore…especially when the Present is overwhelming.

I get a call from a college friend who gently walks me down the memory lane of bunked classes, cafeteria visits, movies we watched, professors, classmates, our judgmental nick names, peppering the conversation with bursts of laughter and slivers of joy that break through my grief.

One friend visits and reminds me of my confident driving skills...something, I have all but forgotten and confidence be thrown out the window. To think, that deep down somewhere there does exist that confident version of me, seems almost unbelievable.  As we recount difficult life experiences, I am reminded of the strong and fearless versions of me, I now have no strength to recall.

Another friend visits, reminiscing about my almost epically comic attempts at cooking, the adventurous holidays we undertook, the fun and youthful version… now clouded by the haze of Time and Life.

One friend gently goads me to get back to reading while another goads me to get back to writing.

When I feebly attempt to protest at the futility of these versions, it results in rueful smiles from them. I am nudged with encouraging words…It will all come back, I am assured.

In Life’s toughest moments, I think it does help to meet versions of us that we have buried deep down in the warp and weft of Life.  To think that they once existed and can exist again, is the crutch that helps us pull ourselves out of the quagmire threatening to drown us.

To have friends from different phases of our life come to visit us or talk to us and re introduce us to those versions of us...if that isn't a blessing...I don't know what is...and I remain grateful.

To all the friends, who dug deep into their cache of memories...who took the time out to visit, to call and who tried to reintroduce me to me…a big Thank You!

To add to these blessings is the compliment I received from my daughter, “You seemed to have been quite cool back then, I would have been friends with you", is a big motivator!

Now, I have to try to get those older versions of me to gently co-exist with the version I have presently become. This is a journey I need to undertake. With the support of friends and family, I begin that, one day at a time, one step at a time…