Random Musings

Families lie. They lie to please, yet it hurts. Hurts real bad, when you finally stumble on the truth. I should have seen the tell-tale signs of my family’s unwillingness to tell me the truth. I should have sensed it in the gifts they brought me; in the way they avoided looking me in the eye when I asked them how I looked. Well, in case all this doesn’t make sense, then the good way to begin is at the beginning…. I think what prompted this strain of thought, is not one particular incident but a series of them actually. It is only on this cloudy, gloomy and terribly humid day, all of it became clear to me. I was sitting on the verandah, sipping my piping hot coffee, (beat the heat with the hot, was my mantra) when my thoughts traveled back in time, to all those years gone by, when I enjoyed doing just what I was doing today. And, I thought, ‘Next month’s my birthday, and I will turn 39 and enter the 40s’. I couldn’t believe it, 40, me? Why, it seemed just like the other day, when...

Today i pack one more carton and i know, i am that much closer to leaving this place, a place i call home today...somehow the distance already seems to be building as if i already belong no more... The milkman, the vegetable vendor, the newspaper delivery boy, the maid, all seem polite today...the warmth with which they greeted me, the innocuous news we exchanged, the stories we shared, are there no more...From the time I've told them of the move, something has imperceptibly changed...the warmth is now replaced by politeness, the casual and careless conversations somehow seem deliberate and affected...am i being too sensitive...that, i do not know, but i know, i sense, this place is mine no more... The elderly gentleman i used to occasionally meet on my walks, he lost in his thoughts, i in mine...and then we would sometimes just fall in step and discuss random things...the conversations always leaving us both with a lighter step and a better mood...Today, the dialogue is not so fo...

People who change residence often or travel a lot as part of their routine lives know what it is like to uproot ever so often...is it human nature i wonder, that even though we know that we may not live in a place forever, we make those places as comfortable and as livable as possible...as if we are never going to leave them...as if, they are permanent places of residence...Be it a hotel, a motel or a temporarily leased out apartment, any place merits that touch of permanence from the residents. Some take up these acts of establishing their roots consciously while some unconsciously, but the fact remains that each one of us, is in the pursuit of firmly growing our roots and establishing them, just as much as we want to develop wings and fly out...

'gr8 gng' my friend said, when i told her that i had started writing a blog. Being new to the cyber-world when i chat or receive 'msgs' i am constantly coming across terms like 'btw, lol, ttyl' and i am, to say the least, flabbergasted. I still take time to decipher all the short-forms of the sms or IM language... Educated by strict nuns all through schooling years, and graduating in Literature, do not help either. The gross 'misspellings' almost always make me feel guilty! I can almost feel the angry looks of my English teachers from yore, shaking their finger at me as i surreptitiously glance around before 'txtng msgs'. But change is inevitable and the faster we adapt to the changing times and trends I am told, life becomes that much easier. So, i am sure, I'll catch up, as most 'ppl' have already done. Very soon, I'll be able to not only decipher the meaning of all these short forms and abbreviations, i am sure, I'll ...